True colors of India

Hello lovely friends..

Its been quite some time that you heard from me..
But, no worries.. Im doing very fine.. :)

So after almost 2,5 months living in this weird country, I can tell you that I do feel that I made a good choice.
India is not always friendly to me, and I struggled a lot in the beginning, but I start to feel at home..

Well yeah, home..
It’s the first time in my life that I live somewhere, and cant really have visitors by myself, or just go out and buy a beer in the beershop. It’s the first time in my life that the neighbors are watching me as much as possible and criticize me. And it’s the first time in my life, a society is giving me (unwritten) rules.

Don’t think I’ve become an Indian aunty in a sari now, no don’t worry, im still me.
I just behave a little better than I do in Holland.
And personally, I don’t give a f.ck about what the society thinks of me. As long as they leave me alone, they can have their gossip and speak their twisted narrow minded thoughts.
But, okay I chose to live here, so I should live a little according to the society..
And in some way I respect my neighbors/ owners of the house, and Im already happy that they let me and Akshat live in this house as an unmarried couple. They have to hear the gossips in the streets too, and answer the questions of the society.. But, as long as we behave, they let us stay..

We have a nice house, its pretty spacious and the rent is cheap. Our housemate has moved out, so we have the whole thing for ourselves.. Its a little back to basics, but I guess im just spoiled, when Im missing my hot shower and vacuumcleaner.. hihi..
The house is lovely, still I feel weird with all the society restrictions (beer, visitors, etc) and the neighbors that just walk into the house when we are not at home..
So it can happen that we find another crib soon, in a little more modernized area instead of this village society haha..

And I noticed, that here in India, one of the most important things for me is “home”.
In the streets, I can never really be myself. And I will always get judged on my color. (yes, discrimination happens everywhere)
Every step that I take, I’m conscious about my behavior, about my looks, and in what I say.
And believe me, for an impulsive blabbermouth like me, its though..
But home is home.. And nobody is watching me, judging me or laughing at me..

As you read this, you can understand my struggles in the beginning.
Its not a weird thought, to live somewhere where you will never be totally accepted.
Where you will always be the foreigner. Always get ripped of, always get judged, always have people staring and laughing at you, always have women looking at you with a face of the devil, and guys with a look that can undress you in a second.
Even after months of living here, I still hear in the streets “ look, look, foreigner… ooooohh”
And it will never change..

People here are difficult for me to understand as a western..
They are very welcoming, but close the door when you are coming into their family life or society..
They say yes, while they mean no, or they give you a weird nod haha.. They are nice to you, but talk you down behind your back..
They want to evolve, but also stick to traditions. They believe in family values, but they all lie to each other. They want love, but chose their parents desires at the end..
At a party with friends away from the city, they still drink, eat, sleep and wake-up all at the same time.. (Thank god, not our friends!!)
Indians don’t really seem to have a personality, an individuality.. (Again, thank god, our friends do have!) And having your own opinions, your own way of doing things, is not an easy thing in this country..
Society in India is a bitch if you are a little different and want to live your own life…

But, I made peace with it.
I had the idea that people will get used to me, but I changed it into; I will get used to them..
I know why I’m here. I know why I look like this. And I know why I behave like this.
I know I’m not hurting or offending anyone. So I just ignore the narrow-minded people, and live my life.
(Being weird, builds up a thick skin…..)

And, my life is going pretty well as I can say.
Don’t think because of all the stuff you just read that Im unhappy here, im not.
Im very happy.

First of all, with Akshat ofcourse.
This guy puts a smile on my face from the moment I wake up, till the moment I fall happily asleep.
Ofcourse we noticed that we both come from two very very different cultures, but we explain and talk a lot.
And we have magical moments, together we discover new places around Mumbai, we camp in the wild, or have a fun weekend in rainy Goa. We party together, rent bungalows with friends for a weekend away, or we don’t do anything at all and just enjoy each other’s company..
But, sorry ladies.. Im not going to tell you all about my lovelife.. haha..
Just please yourself with the thought that we are very happy together..

This page is to write down my India experience after all..
Too much has happened in the last weeks to write everything down in detail.. I tried, but believe me, you don’t want 9 pages to read and be jealous about all the wonderful things I’m doing here.
So I decided to sit down, and write whatever comes up in my mind now..

Every day surprises me here. Every day I am amazed by how the things go here..
I am still amazed by the animals on the street.. Okay, the cows Im used to by now. But it puts a smile on my face when I see an broken bathtub on the street filled with rainwater, and 3 cows are drinking from it. I am amazed when I almost bump into a 3 meter high elephant. I smile when I see and old woman sitting in the middle of a crowded street with 2 chickens next to her..

The crowded streets are amazing too.. Everybody is running to his or her destination (Mumbai is a fast city) or people just stop to talk a little.. So what, that you bump into them.
The traffic is still an insane thing for me too.. And I wonder if I will ever be able to drive in this chaos, because I don’t know if I can let go all the things the teached me in Holland.. Our biggest traffic offense is driving through a red light, but is just a small thing here.. And that’s why they need cops on every crossing to control the traffic, because everybody ignores the lights..
Well, at least in Mumbai they try to control the traffic, and even stop people on bike that don’t wear helmets.. But yeah, if the cop is standing and waving at you, to come and collect your ticket, why would you stop.. You are on the bike, he is not..
And that’s how the chaos will always be chaos.. And I love it..

Im still amazed by the contrast of this country. One evening you have a party in a fancy club, with a resort with a swimming pool and a waterfall next door, and the next moment there is street children trying to sell you toys. Toys they can never play with themselves.
In the weekdays we see the fast, modern city life, and in the weekends we the villages, which are really still 100 years behind of our western world..
The contrasts are hard, and it makes me sad that the people who had better chances in life, think so low about the people that are not so wealthy.. They forget that they are just lucky, and the others are not. We are all human beings. . Im a girl that respects a street sweeper more than a stinky rich businessman.. So for me its difficult to understand these gaps in humanity at times.

And, unfortunately.. there is a lot of poor people.. And im amazed how they can live under a piece of plastic, or a half build tent (everybody that ever camped in summer times know how hot a tent can be, imagine with Indian temperatures..) especially now in monsoon.. I see entire families on the streets with their little bit of possessions getting washed away by the rains..
But you know what I do see, I see their devotion towards their gods.. In the middle of the plastic villages there is bright color temples. There is pictures of the gods, with fresh flowers around it..
It makes me wonder why, but it keeps them going.. And they keep going.. The people are though here..
We can learn a lesson from it..

I love it.. Being surprised every day..
I love the small things, that are so normal for the people here, but they make me smile.
I love the facts that I live above a copy shop, and the guy just owns one copy machine and that’s his business. I love the fact that the high police officers walk on their socks in office. That the papers for my registration as a citizen date from 1948 and 1939.
The streets are always colorful. The monsoon rains are extreme, but the city keeps on going. That a mirror on a tree is a barbershop. And the screen of an ATM machine shows a commercial for 2003..


Ok.. you maybe also wonder what I am doing here at the moment..
Well, when I came here I lazed around a little. Then I found a volunteering job in an orphanage ten minutes away from our home. I teached kids from the age 5-10 computer classes and the older girls I teached how to crochet and make friendship bracelets.. I worked there every day of the week for 6-8 hours a day.. It was a very thankful job to do .. Unfortunately the school of the kids started some weeks ago, so there was no more time for computer lessons or hobbyclasses.
So I went to travel to the north of India, and spend a week in the mountains with some friends from Delhi and went to a nice festival..
After that, I lazed around a little more, and last Tuesday I had the introduction day of my school.
The school looks like a nice institute, my classmates are young but friendly and we have some nice events to organize this year. So I will keep myself busy with that.

Parties are not so much happening here in Mumbai.. Cops are too though and people are too scared to make or even attend a party.. So for me as a party-junky it’s a big change haha..
Luckily there is another city closeby where parties happen almost every weekend, and after the monsoon Goa will be a party paradise again..
In the meantime me and Akshat have started to make decoration for parties, so if the party season starts here in October/ November, we are ready to make dancefloors a magical place.
Also im getting more and more asked to do fireshows at parties in the neighbor city and in Goa these days, which is also a very nice thing to do ofcourse..

Im starting to meet nice people that i can call friends too.. Although, until now I don’t think they will ever be the friends that I’m used to back home..
Most friends of Akshat are pretty closed, shy and silent.. Also their English is not that good (or they think), so most conversations are in Hindi, and idea of myself that ‘I can entertain myself alone‘, is getting tested a lot haha… Although, I see that most guys are starting to open up towards me lately.. So the conversations get better and they start to loose their shyness a little too..
Besides friends of Akshat, I've met other lovely creatures too ofcourse, that are a little less shy and are nice to talk to, party or hang out with..
But at times I miss the openminded-ness, the freedom of our culture, the fact that we have no shame for each other, and that we dutchies always speak our mind, no matter if it makes sense or not..
I miss the cuddles and just hanging and leaning on each other, because for us it doesn’t matter if you are a boy or girl..
I don’t know if I can ever talk, laugh and cry with people here so openly as I do back home..
But ofcourse there is Akshat, who understands me completely.. And if I really need to talk, laugh or cry with one of you creatures I will give you message haha..
I do miss you my beloved friends!

So, that’s it for now.. 4 pages are filled with everything that popped in my head..
As you can see, I had some struggles with getting used to India.. (It is so different if you are just travelling or really want to live here..) And maybe I will never get the country, culture and people. But thats okay.. I dont have too, I just let it all happen, sit back, relax and smile..
Im proud of myself for managing it, and feeling a little bit like a local now.. haha
My life starts to get form, and I like the shape of it!
Im happy and enjoying my life here every day!
<3


ps.. Pictures you can find on my facebook.. :)