Malta, transforming dreams into reality..

Bongu from Malta!!

I hope you are all shining and happy like me :)

Its been a while that I wrote, as I dont have a fixed internet connection in my house yet.
But dont worry, there is a lot for you to read..

Last time I wrote, I had just come back from Morocco and I was packed in a full schedule of goodbye parties, a 60 year old marriage celebration of my grandparents and kambo.
It was a weird week, emotional, but uplifting and energy boosting at the same time.

My goodbye party with my friends was the most surprising of all.. So many sweet faces, that usually never go to party, or at least not a dark psy party, had come to see me!
Tears popped in my eyes seeing them all waiting for me, with a bag full of crazy presents!
It was a night with many hugs, and very little dancing, as I felt more desire to speak with my friends..
I love you all crazy creatures!!
You bring a light in my life, and realize how precious friendships are, even if we dont see each other for long time, or speak that often.. You all have a place in my heart forever..

A last goodbye dinner with my sweet parents, a hug to the dogs, and off to the airport.
I left only a small basket of personal stuff at my parents house, some extra clothes I couldnt throw for personal reasons, and all the rest of my possessions that I had left were tucked in my backpack.
What a feeling of freedom!

I arrived in Malta, breath in the air of the ocean, and it felt good. Amazingly good.
I knew from the first minute I had made the right choice.
In the following days I chilled in my friends house, while looking for a car and house.
The car I found the next day, not knowing yet what a nightmare this would turn out to..

The search for a house looked less promising, as everything looked very expensive. And I wasn't ready to pay much money for a shared apartment with strangers. And a place of my own seemed even more expensive..
I decided to put an add on the Maltese pages, and within few days I had a message of a woman, saying she might have something of my interest. An oh , how much it was of my interest.

Few days later she picked me up from where I stayed, and drove me up on a hill.. We drove more far away from the noisy and crowded tourist area, and the landscape turned more beautiful.
We drove on the hill, into the peaceful countryside.
On top of the hill, there is an apartment complex, that used to be a hotel. Now its just rented out to expats or retired people.
I share the house with this friendly english lady, an we both have our own floor. Basicly we only share the front door.
I have 2 big rooms, of which one I use as a kitchen/ working space, and one I decided to make my livingspace. I have my own bathroom, and full use of the big roof terrace.
The views from my room and balcony are stunning. I look over the countryside, and see hills and farms, and on 2 points I can see the ocean. Its very silent up here, and my view includes a beautiful sunset.. And oh yeah, maybe the most important reason I fell in love with this place.. I have a swimmingpool!!

I drove around on my rented scooter a bit (the car I bought was in the garage getting ready), chilled out in reggaebars, met nice people here and there. Went to a tattoo shop, to get a tattoo of which the donation would go to Nepal. Was a strange day with a lot of waiting, but meeting nice tattoo people also.

So everything was there, a house for a queen, a car, meeting people..
All I needed was a job.
So I started to send out e-mails, Im a good writer, so I got response in no time.
Few possibilities for parties. And one event mangement agency, that wants me for all kinds of events. And they gave me immediately 6 shows in a row, in a shopping and film festival in Valletta.
In one week.. I was sorted!
What a magic!!

On friday morning I woke up at 7, to fix the papers for my car.
After searching all the week for possiblities to register the car on my name without a Maltese ID card, the only way possible seemed to bribe them. So thats what I did.
Super happy the car was finally on my name, and after I met a friend who helped me move into my stuff into my new house.


Then I made the stupid choice, to go back to Morocco.
My friends had invited me to come and work with them on decoration. They paid half my flight and my stay there would be for free ofcourse..
And yes, to be honest, I wanted to see that King (Soufiane) again, and see what would happen.
Double reason to go, and with half the flight paid, why not..
But already on the road to the airport, I started to feel nervous.
And when I picked up my boardingpass, I knew trouble would start.
My flight was not going to Marrakech, but to Casablanca. While my friends were waiting for me, in Marrakech.. I called them quickly, and they said no problem, we will pick you up.
While changing flights in Barcelona, I made a quick call again, to give them information about my arrival.. Turned out, they hadnt left Marrakech yet, and were not planning on doing so either.
There was a birthday party of their friend, and I got to hear “you are not my girlfriend anyway” and that I should not be complaining and just take a train.
Ofcouse by the time I arrived at 23.00, there was no more train.
I was broken, as I woke up that morning at 7, and had a long day with much paperworks and travelling.
Without thinking, I took a taxi to Marrakech. It was way to expensive, but I had no more energy to find another options.
I asked that King to bring me home in Marrakech, but instead he took me to the birthdayparty.
Which was only 6 people drunk and high.. Nothing exciting at all.. :(
And this was more important then picking me up.. I was sad...

And the sad feeling didnt change.
I dont know how many times in my life I did crazy things to be with a guy, but I think this was the last time ever.
In their house, back in Rabat, it turned out there was no decoration materials.
And both guys, Soufiane, and my long time friend Taha, just left me in the house, to go to their parents.
There I was stuck in a house, with just 2 dogs and nothing to do.
The first day, was okay, as I was still tired. The second day, I started to have big questionmarks.
And the third day I just left the house and the dogs, with the only key of the house.
Ofcourse they didnt like it..
I told them, I had not come to Morocco only to sit alone in a house with 2 dogs.
Also I got mad with the guy that had asked me many times to come to Morocco to see him and be with him. He was super cold with me, and the vibe didnt change. Decoration never came..

I had come with no expectations, at least that is what I thought.
I was not in love with this guy, but I had hoped to spend at least a nice time together.
Or that he would show me happiness when I was there..
My proud ego was exploding, I realised I had created a fairytale in my mind, and that my ego was demanding his attention... And when he didnt give me, I was ofcourse feeling hurt.
Doesn't mean he was a cold heart dick, that should have never invited me to come, if he was going to be like this..
I felt that it was a mistake coming to Morocco , that it was a waste of my money, time and energy.

Karma did do its payback thought…
One day the beach, I was super confused by the whole situation, and I asked the universe for a sign.
As I wanted to know who was the bad person in this story.
5 minutes later, I see Soufiane and Taha running towards the direction of where their dogs went.
Turned out, Soufianes dog killed a sheep on the beach, and the owner of the sheep demanded him 250 euro.. which is a lot, knowing a moroccan salary is around 400e a month.
While running to the dogs, Soufiane had also lost his Iphone in the water.
250 euro, and a fancy Iphone, in 5 minutes, I couldnt help to smile..
Karma coulndt be more clear to me.
And my sign to solve my confusion was right there.

The day after not much changed, so I decided to go my own way.
I felt strong and proud for leaving, and deleted every little bit of feeling that I had left for him.. Like it was washed away by the ocean..

In the train to Marrakech a beautiful girl joined our coupe, I was just writing a poem when she pushed her phone in my hands. It had a message written on it. That she was finding me very beautiful and wanted to know me. For an hour we exchanged messages in silence. And a peck on my cheeks when she left the train. What a weird experience.
And what a lesson, that as soon as I kicked out Soufiane from my heart and mind, everything was possible again, because I was open for new experiences.

I arrived in Marrakech in the middle of the night, bumped into a beautiful guy with long dreadlocks.
He invited me for a drink the next day, and without exchanging phone numbers, I went to my favorite hostel that always feels like home.
The day after I decided to accept the invite and went for the place we had agreed to meet.
I normally never do this things, but I had a good feeling about it.
I spend a day with him while roaming the small streets of Marrakech, while we spoke about the deep meaning of life, purpose of our being, religions, love and many other deep subjects.
It was a surprisingly lovely day.. And again I realized, that if you keep your focus on only one person, you block your heart for others.

My last days in Morocco where super nice and drama free..
I enjoyed the sun and the country and visited my favorite places..
Its like a love and hate relationship that I have with this country.. Like a boyfriend you sometimes want to strangle, but the next moment will miss again and wish to take back in your arms haha..
It didn't feel as a mistake anymore to be there.. And I enjoyed my time..

I think I will not so easily go again, to visit a guy I barely know..
As my new life feels good, and confident. And I dont need to feel complete with the embrace of a guy. Every day in Malta I feel stronger, and more and more happy with myself.
I think this was a lesson I need to learn..To open my eyes a little more and to find out about my ego and how it tells stories.. I think I needed to see also, that I can just walk away from a guy when he is not nice to me, and that it makes me feel better when I do that..
No guy is going to ruin my happiness anymore, (not for a long while at least haha..)

And Soufiane, well he started to message me as soon as I was back in Malta.
That he was sorry, and he miss me soooo much, and he love me..
I hope one day he realise empty words dont fill a heart. :)

(He told me actually today, 2 weeks later, he didnt want me to fall in love with him, and that is why he acted like a dick. Well bravo, love is the last word I think of now when I write and think about him haha)


Back in Malta..
Straight from the airport I went to pick up my car.. I was exhausted after spending 6 sleepless hours in Barcelona aiport in the night, and a little sick from swimming in the sea in the night in Morocco.
And then had to drive to most far distance possible on this island to get home with my car...
And this while driving on the “wrong” side of the road.. Buying RedBull, and concentrating very hard.. But I did it!
And driving on the left side with an english car, is actually a piece of cake :)

After that I deserved my first night in my new wonderful house.
I cant stop smiling when I tell people about this house, or when I drive home and see the beautiful landscape around me.
Also the lady I share the house with is super chill, and she respects privacy, which I love !

In Malta everything goes so fast, and Im meeting so many beautiful people.
I can say, I have people around me, that proved me in such short time to be real friends..
They invited me for dinnerparties, meet me for chilling, and helped me a lot with my problem child, my car..


Oh yeah, the car.. Its a problem child.
I've been lucky all my life with old cars, but this time, I am clearly not.
If its karma, I hope one day someone can tell me what I did wrong to deserve this..
I can still laugh, but I should actually cry about this car.
When I picked it up from the garage where it was getting ready for me, already I was told they had to change the gearbox.. $$$
When I drove it home, everything was new ofcourse, but the day after I realised starting was a problem. The day after that I got stuck, in a parking place where I should not be, the problem child simply wouldnt start anymore.
I had someone towing me to the nearest garage, the day after I was told, they had to change the battery.. $$$
When I drove home the day after, it was dark, but my car had no lights. Not fun, when you live up a steep hill with much curves and turns, but without streetlight.
So again finding a mechanic, this time one for electrics. Turned out to be the switch of the lights that was giving problems. They made a quick solution, and now I have a switch button like we have in our houses to turn on the lights. $

The day after, I had a flat tyre. No problem, I can change a tyre within 10 minutes.
Just my tyre had a special seal, which needed a special tool.. which ofcourse I didnt have, and it was midnight, so no hardware shop open to help me.
A good friend of me that was with me that evening tried to help, but nothing worked to get the seal off. I was on the other side of Malta, and I could not take the offer of my friend to drive me home.
As then I would be stuck on my hill in the middle of nowhere, and my car on the other side of the island.
We were discussing what I would do, I said I would better sleep in the car, and go to a hardware shop or mechanic the morning after. At that moment an Egyptian business man passed by, who also tried to help, and he offered me to stay in his hotel room that night.
So I did, and I stayed in a super fancy 5 star hotel!!
The guy was a good muslim, made his prayer, and put pillows in the middle of the kingsize bed.
Nothing strange happened, and in the morning I tried to find a mechanic, but the one I found was alone in the shop, which was also a gasstation, so he didnt come to help me, and told me also he didnt have the special tool.
I called my insurance, and they send their tow service truck. And in 15 minutes my tyre was changed. Bumper I wasnt a member yet for road serivce, so I had to pay.. $$

The day after I signed up for 3 times road /towservice from my insurance..
Happily I did so, as the day after that, on my birthday, I had a nice dinner with a friend.
I was almost home, on the middle of my hill, when my gas started to roar like a wild beast.
The gas cable had snapped, and I saw the same guy of the towing service again.. New gas cable it was $$

Depending again on the help of my lovely friends, to get me down from my hill, I picked up my car and it seemed fine for some days.. Except the lights going on and off a bit..
But nope, few days later.. The engine was overheated, so I stopped, I saw the hose of the radiator was leaking. I tried to move my car a little again, but again the same roar of the gas cable.
So again, the same tow guy.. He said it was the same problem as before, and now I would get it fixed for free, as the gascable fixing was done in their garage..
While he checked my car, also my lightswitch started to make weird electrical sounds..
And I have no idea yet if the overheating is fixed.

But for now I have a rental car again, and next week, my problem child goes to a trustworthy mechanic of a friend.. Then I let them check everything, and let them tell me if its worth keeping this car and fix all little problems. Or if I should sell it..
Im not happy if I should sell it, as I spend already around 400 euro on fixing stuff, and a road license (tax) of 120 euro for a year.. Thereby , who would want this car? And how much would they pay for it? And I dont want to be a bad person selling this crap..
A new car, can mean also problems again.. Plus a new road license., insurance, etc..
So dear readers, fingers crossed, that my problem child only needs a few small fixes from now on and that I can keep it.. and that it wont let me down.. again..

Enough about that car..
Like I said, it hasnt made me down yet.. Im not stressing, or feeling very bad.
I feel bad for my bankaccount, but me and my bankaccount have never been friends, so I can live with that..
In fact this car is a big lesson. About buying cars, yes yes..
And about not stressing and taking things as they are.
But also, its showing me who are real friends and good hearted people, as I depended on them already quite some times now to pick me up from my hill, or bring me there..
And I think, if everything goes soooo extremely well, somethings need to go bad also right?


And yes, things go super well here..
Besides the car, Im super happy.. Im living my dreams.
And I feel everyday, that moving to Malta was the best choice I could have made.

People love my flow wand, its new here. And I start to feel confident enough to ask party organisers for shows.
And thats how I ended up last week, on a main stage at the biggest festival of Malta for over 1000 people, being part of a project that contains arts, visuals and live music. It was amazing, I did well, and everybody loved it.
With this project its just the start of an adventure..
And shows bookings are starting to come in now..

Thereby I did decorations for a psy trance party last week, and also this seemed very new on this island.. People loved it..
Immediately I got asked to do more parties, and yes, why not..
So now Im chilling in my balcony with a sziccors and pieces of fabrics, making decorations.
Life could be worse ;)

From this monday, until I go on holiday, Im extremely fully booked, with shows and decorations..
I almost start to stress how I can manage it all.. But living day to day works pretty well :D

I also got asked by a party organisation, if I want to join their team.. So yep, also this offer I took.
And im excited to organise parties with them, give my love and energy to the Maltese Psyscene, make new decorations for them, try to book artists, etc etc..

I am getting so super busy, that I don't need to find a job anymore…
I work, but I am my own boss.. And I transformed that crazy dream of going to Malta, into a super colorful reality..

Im enjoying and loving my life every single second!
The sun is shining here, everything goes well, I will never get rich,
but at least Im doing the things I love to do. And that makes me richer then any money can ever do.



Thats it for now..
I wrote everything from my heart, maybe forgetting a few details here and there, maybe I write long about certain things.. But everything is open and honestly written, about how experience the experiences Im having in my life..


Big hug with a warm heart from Malta
Loony


ps.. I dont have internet yet.. everything in the slow motion tempo of the Mediterranean life style ;)
So for pictures you will need to wait a little before I upload them..
I only added 2 pictures with the view from my house… ;)